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Stole this from alys LJ
I used my LJ name for the next one
Current Mood:  blah Current Music: None |
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Feb. 15th, 2005 @ 08:12 pm
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Yes i made this account so that I could have people from LJ on my friends list. ! It mite take me awhile to get the backrounds and all that down.
Somewhat Dissapointed. Aly is online but she couldnt talk so she put up an away message. Which is depressing because i need to talk to her. I want a new guitar but i cant get one because im broke. People should donate to me on my birthday. So yes last nite i had a tres interessant conversation with michelle and adam. Wow . I'm like hooked on orange juice for sum reason. I swear like evry other minute i have the urge to drink it. My parents always told me when i was younger that if i eat to many carrots id turn orange. . . i if that was true.. . . and if it was i wonder if il turn orange from drinking to much orange juice. Idk why im making a big deal outta this i just have to make a big deal outa something rite now and orange juice seems to be the most harmless at the moment. . . people are depressing. When im in a good mood everyone else seems to be in a bad mood or vise versa. It makes me mad cuz that could liek make me some anti happiness person idk. I feel like blaming people for my life rite now but i dont feel like getting people mad so im not going to . hmm i hope samantha calls me or aly comes back from away tonite bcuz i need to talk to one of them. I think visitations are due by the end of this week which means il be busy for the next 2 days cuz i gotta find a way outta my house to go see people. I think medicene would be good rite now. . but i dont have any because im being secretive about everything. I dont think I'd get medicene anyways even if i did fess up. I think i know i need help but i just dont know how to get it. I have to get it without my parents because i dont want them to find out about this. But thats impossible. or it seems so at least. I remember aly told me before that theres a lot of free counselling but idk if that would be any good cuz my parents would find out. Idk im open to suggestions. This week has been depressing but funny at the same time. I cant go anywhere because my moms on this clean sweep thing and i guess the house needs to be clean by friday. . . its just funny to watch how everything unwinds around here. It's not even liek my life anymore its liek this big movie that my parents are directing . Which makes it even more interesting because it seems liek they meant for all this to happen. Why cant they take their issues somewhere else and stop making me and my brothers pay for their mistakes. If im like this rite now it hurts me to think about how my brothers are going to be at my age. seriously tho im sick of all of it. It's just gotta stop because its gonna end up building up on my dad again and hes gonna blow up one of these days and if he does that Idk what im gonna do. Somethings gotta give tho. Somewhere along the line somethings gotta get better. I dont know how things can get much worse soo its only reasonable to think that it can only get better. I'm gonna end up in a fight with my mom this week i just know it. I'll have to go somewhere for a day if that happens which is fine bcuz alys place wasnt the only option i had for running away . I've had many invites from people so finding someplace shouldnt be a problem. w/e tho. Iv got 3 more years. . . it shouldnt be to hard to stay alive in that time period??? w/e tho. . i still cant get over the orange juice thing. . . i dont want to be orange. If i got hooked on cranberry juice would i like turn purplish red? Damn. . . lets not try. Anyways im trying to make this long. Aly better come back . . if i dont talk 2 her 2nite im gonna liek go crazy. ! Im so lost. I decided that i dont want to go to formal unless i magicly come up with a date which i wont because magic doesnt really happen for me and i dont really feel like asking anyone out rite now. Im mad tho that its almost wednesday and that means that break is going by to fast and iv pointlessly wasted time for the past 4 days. I feel like peeing even tho i just peed liek 20 mins ago. Too much orange juice i guess. That stuff is addicting. It'd be weird if i drank to much orange juice and turned to some color like green or something. :\ Idk im lost. Why am i making such a big deal outta orange juice i wrote about that like 10 mins ago. Im really tired. And thats weird cuz iv gotten a lot of sleep over break . Sum41 is a good band. Im listenign to them rite now. Peices is a good song. Im bored! someone needs to shoot my brothers for me . . . ther so annoying. U kno wats weird? How u dont notice ur typing without looking at the keyboad and then u notice and u liek try to type without looking at the keyboard on purpose and it doesnt work bcuz ur hands are to retarded to be smart when u want them to. Idk mayb some1 else can find a perfecter way to word that but mayb its just me idk. Newayz i think this is getting long and iv listened to peices like 30 times in a row. Time to swich songs. Letters to god by boxcar racer is a good song. Il listen to that. Newayz. . . . .. . .. . . . . . I have to talk to someone soon bcuz my boredom is like destorying me. I made my website all coo llast nite cuz i was so bored. Then i made a forum thing for it. Id put it in here but i dont remember what i caleld my website so yea so much for that. i cant talk to michelle until 915 cuz shes at catecism or sumthing. Im glad my caticism thing ended last year cuz that was getting annoying having to go to it every monday or w/e. Last year was weird. The whole veronica thing. It oddly resembled my relationship with michelle but the difference was michelle actually liked me as far as i know and we went out so yea. Im tired im probly talking in circles. I have to go get a drink of orange juice and then think about how much it would suck to turn orange. . Im starting to like this routine |
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